Because many children and adolescents lack effective coping strategies and social skills to deal with teasing and name-calling, when they appear hurt and upset by teasing, that becomes a signal to others to continue the teasing because they have caused a reaction.

These episodes of teasing, unfortunately, bring a host of problems: Victims suffer from self-esteem damage and are lonelier, more submissive, and more socially anxious than other children.

Signs that can help you identify your child's social role:

victim

• Your child gives in to friends to avoid conflicts rather than stand his ground over something important.
• She usually does what others ask of her, whether it's in her best interest or not.
• His friends dominate him, make most of the decisions and tell him what to do.

bully

• Your child is a good leader but will not follow, for example always directing games and telling others what to do.
• He is consistently unable to interpret the feelings of other children and seems unaware of others' feelings.
• She frequently avoids situations in which she is not completely in charge.